To move or not?

Well, I did not get the job in Fort Myers. So I am in prayer on whether to move to North Carolina or not. My husband wants to move and I should listen to him because he is the head of the house. But, I have been in prayer and I do not feel God calling me either way to move or not. John says that God has confirmed in his heart to move. I know I need to be obedient it is just that this is an area that I struggle with. So I continue to pray I know that God will lead me to where I need to go. He is faithful and just. Prayer is needed for this.

God answers prayer!

Today I spent a long time in prayer. Many things in my life are difficult right now. Where do I start? Our business is dissolving our partner wants out and has been awful to me. We have a house in Naples we cannot afford any more and cannot sell. John and I separated a month ago and the kids hate me because of it. So for the last month I have boycotted God. I felt as thou he had left me. Well, two days ago I felt Him whisper to me. I began to feel the lonely pit inside of me and I knew I needed to get things right with Him. So for the last two days I have read the Bible, prayed and listened for God. He does answer prayer and sometimes so loudly it is like He is yelling at me. I prayed that he would show me his will and that I would know it without a doubt!

We our attorney called and said the fight is over. It did not end all in our favor but it is over and I think here on earth the devil wins those battles. I am just glad it was not a long court case.

We got an offer on the house in Longshore! It was a terrible offer but we countered and hopefully they take it. But it has been on the market for two years and this is the first offer so I am happy.

Lastly, John and I are really working to make the marriage work. I love him more than anything here on earth. We have our problems but hopefully with God's grace and strength we can make it.

Now I know that the answers weren't all that I wanted but for things to change that much in two days is God I know this. I know He is here holding me and caring me through this. Today is the first time in a long time that I feel Him with me and I think I can make it.

The last 18 months of my life has been nothing but trails and I know they have made me a better person and a person that walks closer to God so I praise Him for that. God has blessed me with so much in those trails that I would never want to change them. Like it says in James 1:2-4 "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trails, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." I love this whole chapter of James as he encourages me to keep going that God will never leave me. Romans 8:28 "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." He is taking everything bad in my life and using it for good. I am excited to see what he has in store for me in this new journey in my life. I pray that I would follow his will and bring glory to His Holy name.

Luke's trip to Publix

I am the kind of person that likes to go to the grocery store by themselves. I rarely take the kids or my husband. So last week I had to take Luke with me to the store, which was the first time that I can remember ever taking him. I am sure he has been before but it had been at least six months to a year. Just to give background we also eat very little junk food in my house because I don't buy it. So Luke's eyes were huge!! He could not believe all the stuff in the store. We went down the chip isle and I thought he was going to have a heart attack. He was amazed that they had the same as at school. So we bought a couple of things that still today he said that those are school chips because he has never had them anywhere else. His face was priceless and I was on the phone with Laura not sure if she could hear him but it was so cute "mom it is school chips". I just had to post about how cute he was.

John's Birthday

This is the cake the kids and I made for John's 37th birthday! It was really good too. We hope that Daddy had a happy birthday!

Para sailing with Reza

We had a good friend of John's come for a visit this weekend. Reza drove down from VA to visit us. We meet at the beach and went para sailing here are the pictures. Luke and I were to scared to go so you can see us on the boat. The rest had a great time!! We also went jet skiing with Reza and just had a wonderful time. I hope we get to see him again soon.

The Weekend at Busch Gardens

We took Paige and Luke to Busch Gardens and Adventure Island for the weekend. Paige's birthday was July 2nd and Luke's is August 1st and John's is July 11th so it was every ones birthday presents! Which makes my life easy. Luke and I paid to go on this family excursion where we got to go where the animals are in the wild in the back of a truck! Both of us got to pet and feed a Giraffe. It was so amazing!! Luke loved it. We also got to see a baby rhino that was born in May. It was so small for a rhino.

Paige and John rode the roller coasters and also had a lot of fun. It was really hot so we left at 5:30 and went to the hotel where the kids swam until 9:30. The next day we went to Adventure Island which is a water park next to Busch Gardens. We all had a good time here we stayed until 6:00 at night! We rented a cabana by the wave which made the day so nice. Luke even took a nap in it. We were able to stay out of the rain and it was in a private area so no one could come by and it had a fan and a fridge. It was well worth the money!

Side note Carly I really miss you here! I hope all is well with you and the baby and Kevin is loving his job!

Paige's Birthday cake

I think this is the cutest cake ever!!

Birthday Tea with Paige

Yesterday Paige and I went to tea at the Ritz in Naples and had a great time. She had the best hot chocolate ever and the sandwiches and scones were as good as ever! Today we are going to the melting pot which is Paige's favorite place and it should be a great family time.

Paige's 11th Birthday

Tomorrow is Paige's 11Th birthday!! So the festivities have began. We went shopping for her birthday presents last week and found lots of cool clothes. So today we are headed to tea at the Ritz! I know she picked this for me but I am not going to complain since it is one of my favorite things to do. Tomorrow we are going to the melting pot for dinner just the family. Then Saturday she gets to have a friend sleep over and go to the water park!! I hope she enjoys the week and her birthday!

Who loves who more?

Last Tuesday a good friend of my husbands said something to me that at first I blew off but now I cannot get it out of my head. He said that in a relationship either the wife/girlfriend loves the husband/boyfriend more or the other way. He said you love John more than he loves you. I do love my husband with all my heart and soul. I am just wondering if anyone else thinks the statement is true? Is there degrees of love? Or if you love someone you love someone.

Out of Town

I am headed out of town to take a much needed vacation with my kids. Pray that I can sort out many things in my life. I'll post when I get back.

Alex's Graduation

Well I am back from my trip and I had a wonderful time. I am blessed with a large family and I went to visit my sister Becky (my oldest half sister). The point of the trip was to watch my nephew Alex graduate high school!! So I flew up on Friday where Becky picked me up from the airport and we went to meet her mother (not mine) and her sister (not mine). It was so nice to finally meet them after all theses years I had never meet either one. They were both just so warm and welcoming it was a great time. On a really special note after trying for a very long time Becky's sister and her husband had twins they are 10 weeks old and just came home form the hospital 2 weeks ago ( they were born at 29 weeks). So I was able to see them they, are not 5 lbs yet and are the prettiest little babies I have ever seen!! The girl is named Alyssa and the boy is named Justin. So then we went to her church she is the church office manager and she needed to finish up some things, so I got to meet her pastor and other staff all very nice like a big family. Then came time to meet the boys!! My sister fosters teenage boys so she has a 18 year old biological son who is Alex and is a good christian Young man and very dear to my heart. He stays with me most summers and it is such a time I look forward to. She has a adopted son Dylon who is also 18 and fits into the family as if he has always been a part, he makes me feel welcome and that he enjoys being around me. Then she fosters Hose who is 16 and the helper of the house he was just a joy to be around. He is willing to help with all that he can. Terance is a 15 year old boy that is very quiet when I was there, but was very nice and pleasant to be around. Then lastly there is Dakota who is 16 and a little more challenging but still very nice and well mannered. I had a great time watching the family dynamics and see how much she enjoys doing Gods work. What a calling? Almost like going to Africa a calling that only a few hear or at least only a few listen and obey. But through her obedience to God I believe she has peace and a joy few find.

So after all the introductions we went to get dinner not a small task when feeding 5 teenage boys. After they were feed Becky and I had some alone time which was very nice. Saturday morning Becky spoke a Women's brunch at a church in the next town. I went with her and had a great time. She spoke about doing God's work and listening for His call and actually doing what he has called you to do. This was a powerful influence in my life to stop and listen for God, not only my sister but also reading the book red letters by Tom Davis which is also a call to some action whatever God is calling you to do.

So after this we drove straight to the graduation where we meet up with Alex's dad and his wife, Becky's mom and brother in law and the "boys". Alex's graduating class was 35 kids so it was very personal and really a wonderful ceremony. Each graduate had a teacher write a letter to them and it was read aloud as they walked the stage. Alex went to a small christian school so it was like a big family graduation. After graduation we all went to dinner including Becky's sister who had not left the twins until that day! So it was a very special time for us to celebrate Alex and let him know how much he meant to all of us.

Later that night Becky and I went out alone so that we could spend some time together and just talk it was well needed time for both of us I think.

Sunday I went to the her church for service and had a wonderful time. I really enjoy hearing other Pastors and her pastor is a great speaker and a Godly man. Then just Alex and I went to lunch this was very special to me that an 18 year old man that did not feel well woke up and went with just me to lunch. We also have a lot of fun together even if he would rather be with my husband (who is like an 18 year old).

So I really must say that God gave me rest and renewal in this weekend. I felt God all around at my sisters and I needed that as here in my home it feels pretty vacant. I am going through such struggles with work and adjustments to my life that this trip brought me out of my world and back into God's world.

My Alex is graduating

Alex is my nephew and He is graduating on Saturday! So I am lucky enough to fly up and visit my sister and see Alex graduate from high school. I will blog more later.

Luke's end of the year party

Luke had the best teacher this year and she had an amazing party! It was a Luau theme and we had limbo, bobbing for apples, bean bag toss and all in all a great time. Luke had a blast and Paige and I also really enjoyed the party. I think it was the longest school party I have ever had it started at 2:30 and ended at 5:00. But it flew by and we had a great time.

Paige's Hair Cut

Well, we finally did it. John and I let Paige cut her hair. She donated it to locks of love. It was harder for me then I thought I loved her long hair and miss it. The new cut is one Mandy Moore had when she dyed her hair dark brown. It is really cut!! Here are before and after shots.

My Birthday Trip

My sweet husband planned a trip for us to go away together for my birthday last Saturday. It was wonderful! We went to Tween Waters Inn on Captiva. We relaxed by the pool then had a couples massage in our room and went to dinner at a piano bar. We had an awesome time and I am so blessed to be married to Him!

Paige's 5th grade graduation

Wednesday was Paige's 5Th grade graduation. It was really wonderful to see all the kids most of which we have known since prek4. Each child stood up and told their life verse, favorite memory from 5Th grade and what they want to be when they grow up. I hope you enjoy Paige's speech. I am the proudest mom ever!


Here is Paige with her 5th grade teacher Mrs. Works. What a blessing Mrs. Works has been she is a loving Godly women.

Red Letters Campaign

The Red Letters Campaign is having a conference call.
Tom Davis and Children's Hopechest are doing a conference call THIS THURSDAY, May 15. If you are interested in what RLC is doing and the Launch Ethiopia Project we would LOVE for you to call in and have a chance to hear for yourself what is going on. The RLC representatives will be on the call and we want to hear from you.

We will be discussing the need, strategy, next steps, and the vision trip.

Time: Thursday, May 15, 9AM MDT (make sure you translate the time difference)

Conference Dial-in Number: (712) 432-1620

Participant Access Code: 1083603#

If you are going to participate please RSVP to daniel@hopechest.org

Feel free to post this on your blog if you would like to help spread the word for RLC. Thanks and I hope you can be a part of this exciting journey with us.

Muffins with Mom

Yesterday morning at Luke's school they had muffins with mom for Mother's Day. This was cute we got to do a craft with the kids and eat muffins and have fun. Luke's teacher Mrs. Hunt is wonderful so loves the kids and could not ask for a more Godly women to teach them. God has blessed us with her.

Paige's Sports Banquet

Last night Paige had her sports banquet and it was great. So fun to see all the kids from 3rd grade to high school there. Coach was so happy as if all the kids were his which also made the night. I am so proud of Paige that she ran track out in the heat, went to all the practices and meets and really enjoyed it. Good job Paige I love you.

The Beach

I took the kids to the beach on Saturday and they had so much fun. Luke made a new friend and Paige made several which is just her she loves everyone. It made for a great start to Mother's Day Weekend.

Tumble Bus

Today at Luke's school was the year end show for Tumble Bus. It is a old school turned into a gym it drives around to the schools and the kids get to play on it. They change what is on the inside each week. Sometimes they do camping and other times they have a ball pit. Luke loves it and was so happy to show me all he can do. So here are a few pictures from Tumble Bus.

Kid Rock

My husband and I went to see Kid Rock last night with some good friends. I had a really good time Kid Rock was really fun and loves America like me so there was a flag and he even sang a song about God (in a good way) I was really shocked. It was awesome. Just what I needed a little goofy fun that had nothing to do with work.

Red Letters

Let me make sure that all understand from the last post that I only want to punish the evil people that are hurting the children not the children! I do believe with all my heart the children should be cared for and kept safe that is my whole problem. I am so angry that people are doing these things to children that it causes my blood to boil. I do believe that God teaches compassion but to a point. Like in Sodom and Gomorrah where the towns to me sound a lot like the stories that are in this book, the town men wanting to rape the visitors instead Lot offers his daughters. God gave them chances to hear the truth and still they sinned. So God brought punishment and destroyed them. I am not saying that all who have problems are sinners we all know that is not true I am speaking about men who take advantage of children in ways that destroy the childes life. I am saying yes they should hear the truth and receive some help but if they choose not to change then consequence should be given. It is really hard for me to believe that a man that would rape a girl would stop if he knew he would give her HIV. I really do not think that he would care. I am not saying people cannot change I just think that they should not be aloud to destroy others (most important) children that cannot defend themselves. I think we should protect the children all that we can. But as for who we are protecting them from that is another story. I feel that the author is leaning that way as he works for a child group but the way that he writes to me seems that he whats to feed and clothe all and no consequences should be given because with food all things evil would stop and I am not convinced that is true. Like I said before it has really angered me that people do this to children trying to get food. What kind of people do that. I am sorry the uneducated story does not work for me when it involves rape. You do not need someone to tell you that raping a 10 year old girl is wrong! I am still reading so maybe he gives some hope for the people as a whole. I know children can change the world and I am hoping the world can save the children.

Crazy random things

So I am so excited that I am going to Kid Rock tomorrow! I love all kinds of music and cannot wait to see kid rock.

My birthday is coming in 10 days! My husband says he has a surprise. He is wonderful and the love of my life.

I applied for a teaching certificate. Anyone that knows me should be shocked. I am really hoping to teach middle school math. Something that brings me more time with my children.

My father bought a engagement ring for the women in Brazil. Thank goodness He did not give it to Her. Yet that is. I hope they are in love and it works out. I am really starting to feel better about the whole thing. I know my mom is in heaven with Jesus and would never want Him wasting away here.

Mother's Day still scares me. Will I make it through. I really want to celebrate her life instead of feel sorry for myself. I want to forget about the pain she went through and think about the glory she is in now. Just tell me how to get my heart on board! The days that really hurt is when my son begs to talk to her. I just tell him how much she loves him. He gets so mad that I wont let him talk to her it breaks my heart.


Last on the random list this book Red Letters that I am reading with the girls on Thursday am. It is really bugging me. I was abused by my bio mother as a child not sexually, mentally and physically. Any way I guess all the stories of child abuse really is getting to me. I never watch movies or read anything that has to do with child abuse. So this book is proving a challenge and I am just getting more anger with the people in Africa that I really have lost the compassion I think that the author is trying to bring. I really could care less if we save one of those men that are raping and taking advantage of starving, orphan children. I really think they should rot in there own hell. I see that this is not what God wants me to get out of the book, but it has hit something in me and it is all I can do to read the book. I am hoping that it gets better. Also the people are not stupid some are taking western medicine and still rape the 10 year old girls (same age as my daughter). I think I should try to understand from Jesus perception as in the good Samaritan He saved the man in the ditch and had no idea if he was good or evil we are all children of God. But at what point are people evil like the king that tried to keep the Jews in Egypt and they are not going to change?

My Boys

My husband is so wonderful. Here he is playing with Luke in the sand at the park. Really John's favorite thing to do is be with our kids and play! I wish the rest of my life was this simple and wonderful.

Box of Chocolates

My dad is going to meet this woman that he has been talking to in Brazil. Anyway he wanted to bring her chocolates. We drove out to Norman Love, the best chocolates in the world. Bought a box and he took it home. That night as he packed he went to answer the phone and the dog ate the whole box of chocolates! So I went and bought another box of chocolates I am sure that now this is the most expensive box of chocolates ever! Each box costs about 60.00 and with the gas to and from Marco Island. So here is a picture of the last box of chocolates.

Luke's 1st school program

On Friday my son Luke age 3 did his 1st school program. He was so cute "singing He is still working on me" and many other songs. They were on stage for about an hour and he did great! I hope the photos are ok I was sitting way in the back so no close ups.

Mission Trip

Well some awesome and exciting news, my father is going to Brazil on Friday to preach at a mission church there and to stay with a group of missionaries. Please pray for safe travels and the Lord to shine through in his talk. Which is on my favorite chapter in the Bible James 1.

Tough times

I must admit this week has been a roller coaster of trails. My business is just not doing well and it brakes my heart. Since I was 19 years old I have had this company and to see the market and sales and construction the way that it is makes me very sad. I see my dreams slipping away. I have a huge meeting on Friday at 2:00pm pray for me that I would make sense and that all would agree with the plan. My poor husband has left our company and started a new job this week but He has not gotten home before 9:00pm. Most of the work is manual labor and he is exhausted and I love him so much and not sure how to help. My father is talking to woman and it makes me so uncomfortable. She is traveling here May 4Th and I don't want her in my mom's house or touching or looking at her things. I want my mom back. I must admit that today I am angry with God and I hate myself for it. I just feel that after last year and my mom's death that I deserve grace but no one deserves grace and I need to get over myself. But today is a pity party for me. Pray for me I need to get over this.

New home

I am finally settleing in to the new condo and really begining to love it. I can clean the whole condo in 45 min. you have to love that. The pitures are of the kitchen and dinning room. I love the light in the dinning room. I found it at the z gallery for $75.00 it uses tea lights and is so pretty when it is lite. Well, I will send more later I hope all have a blessed weekend!

Blessings from God

I am so blessed by my God! In these times that are so rough for everyone. My husband who has worked in our company for the last 12 years has been looking for work. As of April 1st we no longer need him here. But God provides, a subcontractor of ours is going to make a position for my husband and hire him. How blessed is that! Also he will have a company truck which will save us a bundle in gas (for those who do not know my husband drives a GMC truck the worst for gas). I also was offered to have my salary paid for the year if I would stay and help. Which of course is my dream I love my job and I love working.

On a bitter sweet note a friend wants our horse. Which saves us lots of money and Paige never rides but I loved him so! I know he is going to a good home and we will be able to see him and maybe someday get him back.

I am trying to convince my husband to learn to tattoo. My husband is an amazing artist and would love that profession so pray that he would consider.


I pray for those hit so hard with the economy the way that it is. I hurt so bad to watch our friends and vendors in such turmoil. I pray that this will end soon.

The Dinner

The dinner went great I also have pictures of the table. Theses Ladies are amazing they make dinner for all 36 of us and it was fabulous. I am exhausted serving and cleaning up for 36 people is a ton of work, but what a blessing it was. So happy that I was picked to help. My dessert also was very good, I can tell they ate all of it. That makes it worth the 36 hours it took to make it. I hope all who attended are blessed by the program and the evening.